Where God has placed me.
This story starts three years ago when I was still in high school… well, I guess that would make it four years ago then, ouch. During that time period I suffered with obesity, weighing in at 230 pounds and, sadly enough still rising. It wasn’t a fun time, I was very much a loner and only had one friend that I truly considered close. That was Jeff. He, later on, would become my room-mate in college. I hated high school. I would get made fun of and teased, and when I graduated it honestly seemed like a joyous occasion rather than a miserable departure. At this time I weighed 240, but so what. I really didn’t care how I looked or how other people saw me, all they could hurt was my pride, and what does that matter.
Of course, time rolls by and the future calls, so I ended up going to Navarro College. It was in this time period that I took Kinesiology. Man that class sucked. Our teacher was an eighty year old baseball coach… can’t remember his name, but I still remember how he started the first day of class. It was kind of strange really. He walked slowly up to a lady who looked to be about in her forties and asked her, “What is twenty years to you?” She responded, “My kids are in their twenties that would be like seeing their life go by?” Then he looked at me, “What about you. What’s twenty years to you.” I responded pretty foolishly but I said, “I’m not even that old yet, twenty years ago I wouldn’t even be here.” And he went around the class asking all the students the same question, some saying all they would hope to accomplish, others being old enough to where they could say what they had accomplished, but it’s the next question that caught me off guard. He said, “What is the difference between a morbidly obese person and one that is physically fit?” The answer was pretty oblivious, so we all answered him as he wrote down what we said on the blackboard. Fat, Heavy, Run’s Further, Lifts more, Eat’s more… when everyone was done he turned and wrote something that left me in shock…. 20 years.
It was then that I knew that I had to do something. I mean, twenty years is my life… more than my life. And here I was now at 255 pounds. From there on in I studied my butt off in that class. Everything he said, I listened to with intensity. I was not going to risk my future over something as stupid as my weight. I wanted to be a professional artist and I wanted to be one for a long time. Actually back in high school that was pretty much all I did while being a loner. Draw here, doodle there, I can honestly say that is how I passed high school. But now, my weight was threatening my dream and I refused. So that following Monday I decided to do P90X. My Dad had it as a way for him to lose weight, but he kind of neglected it. So for the next 90 days I ended up pretty much killing myself… If I think back I think I could only do ten push ups. It was hell, but I completed it and you know what the stupid thing only made me lose thirty pounds. I was now at 225.
According to a BMI chart (Body Mass Index) I was supposed to be at 180. I still had forty-five pounds to lose. And at this point all I had to go on was my notes from class. Let’s face it life goes on and so do classes. Life was just rough at this point. I wanted to get my basics done, because supposedly every college requires it so why not get my associates in that field? But I was now living on my own, working a full time job as a night freight stocker, and going to college full time. But I had a dream that I wanted done. So I was gonna work for it. Life can be good in some ways though I found a 24 hour gym that worked perfect on my nights off so I eventually got down to 180, but it’s what happened next that just killed.
I graduated with my associated in General Science May 2010. And immediately I tried out for the Dallas Academy of Art. I had a 3.8 GPA, I blame it on not being a four because I didn’t have enough money to buy the books for the class… yeah, I’m an epic note taker. But luckily they accepted me. I was overjoyed at the fact that my dreams were coming true, but the issue was they needed 120,000 dollars in total for me to graduate with my masters… this was a joke. Whoever has that much money to blow I doubt needs your education. So I was left with the option of debt vs education… wisdom just wouldn’t let me take the gamble. So I tried at a different college, same story different price of 70,000 but still, too much.
During this time of woe, my friend Tyler tells me that he’s going in to apply for special forces and wants me to come check it out. Says that the government offers free schooling. After seeing the prices… it seemed pretty legit. So I went checked it out, and yeah the government would do that for me. So I was all aboard… or so I thought.
Let me say people in the Army know how to push, and I’m thankful for that, but special forces was not what I wanted to do. I don’t know if the had a quota to keep or what, but the guys literally pushed the signing paper in front of me before they even asked me what I wanted to do. Crazy right, well I thought so. So I looked somewhere else.
Schools weren’t an option due to money, Army wasn’t an option, what could I do? I sought after God alot in this moment, I gave away my TV, my Video games, my manga collection (Seriously not joking over 10,000 worth… that hurt) and I just felt him saying to go back and try the Army. I really didn’t want to, but a few days later I went up there and they were closed, but right next to them was an Air Force recruitment office… so I walked in.
I just have to say a peace came over me when the first thing the sergeant said was “What are you here for?” Not how can I help you, would you like to sign up, but rather a question of purpose. I joined right there that day telling him I wanted to do linguistics. But a challenge awaited me.
It was pretty sad when he told me I had to be in the Air Force before I could actually apply for that position… kinda seemed like a scam. But I felt a peace about it so I did. What hurt even more is that he said that there was a test where you have to pass it to get the position and your chance’s are one in thirty, but I had a peace about it. And I’m happy to say I got it.
Now let me just show you God in this. Three years ago I weighed 255 pounds, a weight that MEPS would not accept even if I looked like the incredible hulk, but would accept if I met BMI specifications. How did I learn that? Two years ago I applied for the Dallas Art Academy and was accepted but the price was too high. I am now entering a field where I am going to take two years of schooling for three foreign languages, and in the process the government will pay for whatever additional schooling I wish for. Because I was patient and didn’t rush to get to goal my own way. I moved out on my own and tried to live independently but was shot down because my night shift job wouldn’t cover a rent of 300 bucks a month. I now have a job with an E3 rank and an 11,000 signing bonus…. I honestly can’t wait to see what’s next.
To whom it may concern….
…. Honestly I have been battling with this for a while now. And to be even further encased into the downward spiral that I seem to have wrapped myself into would be both a crime an endangerment to myself and my brothers and sisters. So, the following are just my thoughts. Take them with a grain of salt, or listen and apply them to yourself. Either way…
What is to be considered worship?… Is it the words that are spoken out? Cause I know that even Satan knows scripture as he spoke it out as he tested Jesus, and because of this I know that words hold no meaning without the right spirit. Than is worship my spirit than? Well I know it’s certainly not my flesh. “For though we walk in the flesh we do not war after the flesh: (For the weapons of warfare are not carnal, but mighty through God to the pulling down of strongholds;) Casting down imaginations, and everything that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing everything that was in captivity to the obedience of Christ.” (2 Cor. 10:3-5)
It’s just simply put, that there is a spirit in everything that we do, the flesh cannot exist without the spirit, and though the spirit can live without the flesh God made us this way. So there’s a constant battle there. The main issue that’s been bugging me is what is the spirit behind the music that I listen to. And I don’t mean stuff like secular, or adult advisory music, cause this issue started at Sunday Night Worship.
It happened as I was drawing (It’s how I feel close to God, for those that didn’t know) and Chad was playing, and everyone was dancing, but than something happened that I really didn’t expect… People started screaming. Not like screaming out of fright or being scared, but rather screaming the lyrics. And a spirit of anger just washed over me. I wanted to stomp my feet, throw my fist, and in that moment I asked myself… How does that show God’s love?
I really didn’t know where the thought even came from, but earlier that day I was reading my bible and I was in 1 John, and in there it ties God so closely to love that it in fact says in (1 John 4:7,8) “God is love.” And as I looked around people were doing exactly what I felt. Some were throwing their fist. Some were stomping their feet (To the point of bleeding… didn’t find that out till later though). So I left…
Now, where this left me driving home were considering the word’s Bobby (Youth Pastor) said earlier that day about how he once heard a little girls testimony about how when she was young how her father raped her while quoting scripture…
In no way can worship be about the words…
So, now it’s about a little over a week later and I’m somewhat voicing this to my peers. I honestly don’t know why this started, cause I love bands like August Burns Red, For Today, and other’s in that kind of genre. But now, whenever I listen to them, I feel convicted.
So, I’m probably never gonna go to Sunday Night Worship again, these concerts that are thrown every so often, or anything like that. And I hope if you red this, you can either help me, or voice your opinion… cause I’m not sure on my standing here.
…?
Love
Someone asked me what is love
is it good, is it bad
is it awesome, is it terrible
I honestly didnt know how to answer them.
And I really didn’t wanna throw 1 Cor. 13 at em’
I finally desided love is the most complicated of all emotions
Love is kind
love is harsh
love is wonderful
love is terrible
love is a cure
love is a sickness
love is LOVE
love is hate
love is meaningful
love is pointless
love shows the best in people
love shows the worse in people
love makes us speak truth
love makes us lie
love understands everything
love confuses everyone
love builds your life
love tears your heart down
love makes you smile
love makes you cry
love makes us cuddle
love makes us hit
love makes the world go round
love makes the world go crashing down
love makes things simple
love makes things impossible
love is always worth it
love is never worth it
love makes us smarter
love makes us stupid
love is enlightening!
love is BLIND
make love not war
make war out of love
love encourages
love scares
love is peaceful
love creates fights
love is soothing
love is tough
…and above all
Love is always worth it
because you become a better person
everytime you love someone
from the simplest careing for a friend
to the deepest desire to love someone til the world ends
from the unconditional love of a child
to the complicated love of the gods
there is…no meaning to love
love means…everything
No matter how much it hurts you, or makes you cry
tries your spirt, and splits your soul.
Love is always worth it…because what doenst kill you
makes you stronger
And however long it takes
you will be, a better person because you lived, though love.
Werent afraid to make mistakes, choices and try again.
And…above all, loved someone no matter what people thought.
You would die for that person…but you would also live for them.
That…is the true meaning of love…
There are many types of hugs in the world.
There are big hugs and small hugs, hugs shared between friends and hugs shared between two lovers. There are hugs given to show a friend we care and to show that we are there. There are also hugs given from strangers. There are free hugs. A hug can be shared between two people or 4 people, these are called group hugs which contain lots of love and happiness. A hug contains lots of warmth and love and you know that when you receive that hug, it’s special and it’s to show the person that gave the hug cares for you and loves you. Hugs are very mysterious, but one thing I do know about hugs. They are never out of hatred or spite, but always love. And a hug is the best way to show love. So when you see someone you love. Don’t say anything, JUST HUG!
Yeah, I really don’t get skittle’s
First off I’m just gonna say that I believe that God has a much a plan for you as he does for me. Does this mean that God is controlling your future as well as mine? Well, I like to think someone with half a brain is making sure things work out right. (Except he actually has a full brain… an omniscient one at that) Anyway, I’ve come to full terms that it really doesn’t matter where I go, what I end up doing, or what technicalities come my way. I’m not in control of anything. I’ve given up my life as well as my death to Christ years ago, and the more I try to grab a hold of it the more it’s just gonna end up falling apart. “It’s times like this my buddy Timone here say’s: You gotta put your behind in your past.” (Pumba: The Lion King) So, don’t worry about your past it’s placed you where your at. And don’t worry about your future it’s already been covered. The present is where we are all at now. And personally I’m pretty happy with it. I have some simply amazing people in my life that I could talk for hours about. My friends, my family, Christ, all of them are walking beside me. I pray that God give them peace and bless them eternally.
Dear Future Wife,
I just wanted you to know that I was thinking about you… I mean honestly, I don’t know if I’m ready to meet you or not. And it’s probably kinda weird that I’m writing letters to you before I even know if you exist, but hey, you’ll learn that about me. I’m just just letting you know that God’s been doing alot of work in me, and I’m hoping that all of it is gonna lead to me becoming a man that’s worthy of standing next to you. I’m sorry for making you be so patient, but I don’t want to take this walk that I’m having with my father idly. I’m slowly, very slowly, making my way to the father’s heart, and I firmly believe that’s where you’re gonna be. So when I do get the chance, and when I meet you, and it might be weird if you don’t like it, I would just like to sit over a cup of coffee, in any small little coffee shop, and show you my art… Sound’s funny right. But seriously, my art is the most precious thing to me, and it’s what make’s me feel connected to the father. I’d like to draw for you too, if you’d accept it? I don’t know? God’s got me on a pretty crazy adventure right now. I don’t know what he’s got in store for me on it, but God’s always got something special. I’ll tell you all about it when I get the chance. It’ll be a good chance for you to get to know me better… I’d actually like to here about all the stuff God’s done in you too. But for now I’ll just keep praying that I’ll be able to meet you one day. And I’ll be honest, I don’t think I’m ready to just yet, but soon, real soon….
Photo reblogged from Awesomephilia with 22,146 notes
HAHAHAHA!!! OMG, Andrew!!! Dude someone actually made a comic of this…
Source: tastefullyoffensive
Consider for a moment that the blood of Christ has given you an eternity to live, yet only a lifetime to die
… use it wisely
Isaiah 64:8
“Yet, O Lord, you are the father. We are the clay, you are the potter; we are all the work of your hand.” Is. 64:8 Your hands, that surround me, have molded me into what I am. The ripple in your palm has crafted me, here I fit perfectly. When my feet are cracked and dry, you pour water upon them and clean them in your nakedness. John 13:4-6 I can walk for miles. What is there to fear? I was made in your image, and prophecied to rule over the Earth. Gen.1:26 Let the earth fear me for I am created after the image of the most high God, and as such I have been given authority to trample on snakes and scorpions and to overcome all the power of the enemy. Nothing will harm me. Luke 10:19 “I give thanks to you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Your works are wonderful, my soul knows them well.” Psalm 139:14 I am your son, and you are my father. Let me forever know my place.
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